Crowfall: False Modesty is for Nubs

Today, after an update by the ever-timely folks over at massively, I was made aware of a title I had never heard of: Crowfall. A new MMO with very little to herald its coming, potentially exciting given the genre’s current outlook. Of course that warranted further research and so I ended up on their fledgling webpage, eagerly looking for a vision or mission statement which turns out, is impossible to miss –

WELCOME TO CROWFALL.

If you’re here, it’s because you’re looking for something.

Something deeper than a virtual amusement park. More impactful than a virtual sandbox. More immersive. More real. A game where decisions matter.

We are, too. We’ve been looking for years, and we still haven’t found it…. because it doesn’t exist. Yet. [source]

…Now, not so eager anymore. BARF? Quite a mouth full for something that hasn’t even begun to earn some street cred. And look I get it, creators need to market their games with big words that inspire even the most disenchanted and cynical audience to new hope, but promising weathered MMO players a game that is deeper than any themepark, more impactful than any sandbox and erm, more immersive, real and meaningful than anything that was before (because of course no one has really tried hard enough yet!), that’s not just an amazing summary and quasi denial of almost every persistent MMO conundrum ever – it’s setting yourself up for failure in the most comical ways. This introduction speech just made me feel ancient.

Virtually the only proof this is even a game.

Virtually the only proof this is even a game.

Of course there’s nothing to back up the astronomical claims as the front page goes on to explain how Crowfall is “not THE game; the name of THIS game is “rampant speculation” – I don’t even know what that means. Is THE real game called Rampant Speculation….? AND WHAT’S WITH THE CAPSLOCK? But fret not, if there’s any reason to doubt the developers sanity at this point, there’s a few heavyweight industry names at the forefront which is all you early adopters require to know, anyway.

If such a thing is possible, I am now even less interested in Crowfall than I was before I heard of it. Maybe I am just having a very grumpy day – or maybe going bigger isn’t always better.

12 comments

  1. No, you’re not just having a grumpy day (although Mrs Bhagpuss is – she told me so not an hour ago !). It’s just a truly terrible piece of marketing. I guess it’s possible they are successfully appealing to a demographic that finds itself severely let-down by and disenfranchised from all the mainstream MMOs of the last decade but if so good luck coming up with something that will satisfy that audience! As for the rest of us I imagine just about anyone who actually enjoyed an MMO – ever – is thinking something along the lines of “oh get over yourself already!”.

    When there’s a game to look at then I’ll take a look. Until then, keep shouting into your bucket, fellas.

    1. Indeed. I was thinking the same – it’s not like we’re new to this so please. In a way it’s offensive, not just on behalf of players but other developers too. As Roger Edwards said elsewhere, it’s one thing to oversell a product and another to be completely delusional.

  2. If the goal of marketing is to get people talking, mission accomplished. I’ve now heard of this game, and I hadn’t before.

    Of course, if they set expectations up sky high and then fail to deliver…

      1. That’s not always the goal. Ads for something like Coca-cola are not meant to get you talking today. They’re meant to help cement the brand in your head after lots of viewings over an extended period of time.

        Political ads are often meant to deflect attention, or create a negative perception of something else.

        All that said, this time the goal was probably just to get the name out there. They got you to write about it, so that part worked.

  3. So they’re taking ArenaNet’s communication policy from the past half year and making an ARG out of it, then taking what could turn out to be nothing more than yet another Pantheon: Back of the Forward rose-tinted retrospective mashup of all the things the name-dropped bigshots think have “gone missing” from MMOs and delivering them to us via the first Holy Grail sighting of 2015.

    The Messiah could have at least chosen a better name.

    1. It is a weird name. What makes all of this so comical is that I still don’t actually know what kind of game this even is, lol. So far a lot of hot air.

  4. It may be bad marketing, but I tell ladies I am trying to woo that the sex will be sub-par up front, but in time, may turn into something half-decent. I think it is time this shallow, silly, stupid, derivative, and/or boring little MMOs follow my advice. You’ll either end up with a laugh and a more honest friendship/relationship or a snort and the jerk keeps walking!

    Win/win.

    1. Never promise what you can’t deliver. ;)
      Am not saying don’t make any noise – but do it when you have things to show for and don’t sound like a condescending lunatic. The problem with their statements is that they are so far out there, using lazy catchwords to dazzle the audience (“impactful sandbox” what the heck is this?). I hate dazzlers.

  5. Oh, the swagger! It burnnnnnns! I kind of want to play this game now just so I can spend all my time being hyper critical of it’s delusions of grandeur (Bonus if it turns out it IS all of these magical things, but perhaps I’m just too jaded these days to think that may actually be the case)

    1. Even with 2015 being a slow year MMO wise, I will find better games to play (Wildstar, GW2, LOTRO, WoW, Black Desert, FFXIV) – of that I am quite certain. Not that this game even has a launch date, apparently it’s all in the realm of RAMPANT SPECULATION! :P

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