So, Sony announced their next generation handheld and PSP successor not too long ago – not exactly news I paid any particular attention to. While I have an old Nintendo DS (somewhere…) which is great in terms of software, retro games and RPGs especially, I’m no part of the current “generation gadget” out there. The latest fancy iPod, the omg-smartphone that can talk and turn your TV on (I’m sure it prints money, too), the E-book reader where pages smell of nothing and make no sound as I turn them – not for me. As long as these things can’t do my dirty dishes and laundry too, that money stays safely in my pockets.

I learned it the hard way, too: you don’t ever want to buy anything “first generation” with an apple or big N on it, trust me, not even v2.0. if you can help it. The third edition is already on its way, and it’s thinner with extra colors and better sound and graphics than initially expected!!!

*cough*….See that finger I’m holding up, Apple? It ain’t my pinky.

…but who am I to talk about money wasted? It’s yours to waste, that’s not the point of this post. Back to Sony and their next big hit! Only yesterday, when browsing Gamescom discussions on a console gaming board, I actually came (or should I say I stumbled and fell flat on my face) across the name of that puppy: Playstation Vita.

As in seeeriously Vita???

LOL…what exactly is it you’re trying to sell us here, Sony? A portable entertainment system – or an organic whole-wheat breakfast cereal? Revitalizing, energizing mineral water fresh from the mountain source? I can just see the commercials!

What is it with these pretentious, pathetic marketing names nowadays? Worst of all, their idiotic marketing consultants probably got paid a lot of money to come up with this absurdity! But wait, it gets better – Sony’s official statement:

“Vita”, which means “Life” in Latin, was chosen as the most appropriate  name for the next generation portable entertainment system as it enables  a revolutionary combination of rich gaming and social connectivity within a real world context.
SCE is aiming to transform every aspect of  user’s daily life into an entertainment experience. PS Vita incorporates a beautiful 5-inch multi-touch (WAIT FOR IT) organic light emitting diode (OLED)[…]

We’re not just buying blatantly overpriced, luxury amenities these days – no, we’re buying a lifestyle! Using blingbling-gadgets is communicating a positive approach to life! All the while, Coltan is being shipped out of the Congo, cursed gold of one of the poorest countries in the world. And I wonder: are these people trying to bullshit me on purpose? Then I realize it doesn’t matter, because I’m stuck in there knee-deep, wading through it one way or another. I am trapped. Why, oh why can I not just take the blue pill.

Next UP ! Gamescom headlines for 2012:

  • Microsoft reveal their smashing multi-platform hit – XBOX Allegra!
  • Shigeru Miyamoto reveals insider details on the Wii successor – Nintendo Sana Balance! 
  • Apple discuss the upcoming 48th edition of their shiny mini-iPod, Crystal Gaia!

Who wants to pay me to come up with dazzling nomenclature, already? I do commissions!

Enjoy your weekend folks – and grab a book sometime, in good old paper fashion.


  1. Another article with the label:

    Death and damnation too all hipsters in marketing, bank analysts and bigot politicians (oh shit, pleonasm alert went off)


  2. I agree with your sentiment. Another transgressor is HTC with names such as Hero, Legend, etc. for their mobile phones. I bought an HTC in the end last time I had to decide, but I still cringe whenever somebody asks me what phone I have exactly.

    OLEDs, however, is not marketing lingo, but they actually are LEDs made from organic compounds, instead of anorganic ones. The name makes it sound great for bullshit bingo though, so I bet the flacks are all over it.

  3. @B

    beigism is the doom of our world.

    I had to get an HTC because of a new job before and hated every minute of it, aside of the utterly stupid name-giving. I just don’t like these gadgets and I don’t like what they stand for.

    And “organic” is quite possibly the most abused and slaughtered term of the decade – it’s been such a blessing for an entire phony industry to appear like saints.

    I had an interesting conversation about it recently, where someone rightly pointed out how everything on the planet was in fact “organic” by definition and how it’s being wildly associated with any suitable virtue on a case to case basis in marketing.
    a little ironic too, to call 1% of your product organic(?) – what about the rest? what should I do with this information as a customer; do they want me to feel good about that 1% now or bad about the other 99%? LOL…

  4. @Syl: I like my phone because it lets me do all the stuff I want to do while I’m on the road (web surfing, emails), and on top, it give me seldom useful function of phoning. 😉

    And you are of course right that “organic” has been abused quite a bit, but it’s still a technical term in chemistry, with the most fundamental division being between norganic and organic chemistry. By that definition, while most compounds are organic, there’s still a lot of things that aren’t, and it doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with life.

    So, while in most cases the moniker “organic” is pretty silly, it does have a justification in the case of OLEDs. Now, how that information it twisted and bent to make marketing out of it is a different thing…

  5. @flosch

    Haha, yeah ain’t that awesome?? “check out our new multi-smartphone XYZ, it can do all these awesome things and you can call people on top of that!”. 😉
    I think I actually saw a SonyEricsson commercial somewhere promoting a “portable mini-cam with phone functionality”…

    And thanks for the additional info. I’m not particularly chemistry-savvy and I can see where the term basically comes from and why.
    obviously nobody out there pays that a lot of heed, but we are ever happy to be educated here! =)

  6. I’m glad there are at least a few people out there who don’t like the current gadget-mania either. I’m anything but a technophobe, and my PC is without a doubt my most prized possession, but it’s for when I’m at home and relaxing at my desk. Trying to squeeze too much technical functionality into a small portable device just makes the whole process uncomfortable for me. All those years spent on making larger screens and more ergonomic keyboards, and now everyone suddenly thinks it’s the best thing ever to browse the web using something the size of a coaster, while pushing buttons smaller than my fingernails… sometimes people are mad!

    End rant. 😛

  7. Ok, I agree about the silly names and the tiny gadgets that try to do way too much.

    And I’m not a gadget user at all, I don’t even have a cell phone, let alone a smart phone. Nor do I have an mp3 player, nor do I feel the need to be on the internet when I’m out and about.

    However, I object to you throwing e-readers into the same category as other gadgets. My Nook is awesome. I’ve always hated going anywhere without a book, and when I’ve been nearing the end of a book, I’ve always wanted to bring two books along with me so that I’ll have something to read when I finish the first one.

    My Nook has changed all that. I love being able to bring entire series with me anywhere I go. I don’t miss how heavy regular books can be, nor how bindings can degrade, or how bookmarks can be lost. Honestly I was very skeptical, being as anti-gadget as I am, but I was most definitely wrong about e-readers.

  8. @John

    Hehe, I was expecting somebody to object to the e-books! 😀
    you see, I understand your points completely – I’m such a book lover myself and I always have books lying around (even on my bed, around my pillow lol) – can’t be without them and carry them wherever I go. and this CAN be hard work, a part of me wishes there was an easier way sometime, also because it doesn’t exactly do them any good to be schlepped around in my bags.

    I looked into audiobooks when they were new wave and I’ve held a kindle in my hands…for all their advantages, I can’t do it. I miss the physical aspect of holding a book in my hand too much, the cover, the pages, the smell of a new book opened for the first time (I have a book smelling fetish!). call me a romantic, but it’s part of the experience for me. and I want to “see” my books propped up in lines on my shelves, I love libraries.

    During my studies I had to commute by train 3 hours a day, sometimes I would take books with me with 1000+ pages on a daily basis. I don’t care. the solution is I buy’em double these days, if I have to and I own diverse copies of all my favorite books, where one is destined to be the “meant for usage” edition. 🙂

    Do you still buy some books at least, even if you’ve read them on your kindle?

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