So, Sony announced their next generation handheld and PSP successor not too long ago – not exactly news I paid any particular attention to. While I have an old Nintendo DS (somewhere…) which is great in terms of software, retro games and RPGs especially, I’m no part of the current “generation gadget” out there. The latest fancy iPod, the omg-smartphone that can talk and turn your TV on (I’m sure it prints money, too), the E-book reader where pages smell of nothing and make no sound as I turn them – not for me. As long as these things can’t do my dirty dishes and laundry too, that money stays safely in my pockets.
I learned it the hard way, too: you don’t ever want to buy anything “first generation” with an apple or big N on it, trust me, not even v2.0. if you can help it. The third edition is already on its way, and it’s thinner with extra colors and better sound and graphics than initially expected!!!
*cough*….See that finger I’m holding up, Apple? It ain’t my pinky.
…but who am I to talk about money wasted? It’s yours to waste, that’s not the point of this post. Back to Sony and their next big hit! Only yesterday, when browsing Gamescom discussions on a console gaming board, I actually came (or should I say I stumbled and fell flat on my face) across the name of that puppy: Playstation Vita.
As in seeeriously Vita???
LOL…what exactly is it you’re trying to sell us here, Sony? A portable entertainment system – or an organic whole-wheat breakfast cereal? Revitalizing, energizing mineral water fresh from the mountain source? I can just see the commercials!
What is it with these pretentious, pathetic marketing names nowadays? Worst of all, their idiotic marketing consultants probably got paid a lot of money to come up with this absurdity! But wait, it gets better – Sony’s official statement:
“Vita”, which means “Life” in Latin, was chosen as the most appropriate name for the next generation portable entertainment system as it enables a revolutionary combination of rich gaming and social connectivity within a real world context.
SCE is aiming to transform every aspect of user’s daily life into an entertainment experience. PS Vita incorporates a beautiful 5-inch multi-touch (WAIT FOR IT) organic light emitting diode (OLED)[…]
We’re not just buying blatantly overpriced, luxury amenities these days – no, we’re buying a lifestyle! Using blingbling-gadgets is communicating a positive approach to life! All the while, Coltan is being shipped out of the Congo, cursed gold of one of the poorest countries in the world. And I wonder: are these people trying to bullshit me on purpose? Then I realize it doesn’t matter, because I’m stuck in there knee-deep, wading through it one way or another. I am trapped. Why, oh why can I not just take the blue pill.
Next UP ! Gamescom headlines for 2012:
- Microsoft reveal their smashing multi-platform hit – XBOX Allegra!
- Shigeru Miyamoto reveals insider details on the Wii successor – Nintendo Sana Balance!
- Apple discuss the upcoming 48th edition of their shiny mini-iPod, Crystal Gaia!
Who wants to pay me to come up with dazzling nomenclature, already? I do commissions!
Enjoy your weekend folks – and grab a book sometime, in good old paper fashion.