Lady RNG hates me and I hate her right back!

Disclaimer: The following article contains an excessive amount of foul language. And loathing. Lots of loathing. Hide the kittens.

I am insanely frustrated with my loot luck at the moment. And I know what you must be thinking right now, “we’ve all been there” – but NO, you really haven’t. Trust me! On a scale of 1 to 10, my loot luck in WoW is a reliable infinitesimal. If there’s something I want real bad, it will absolutely take me ages to acquire, no matter how frequent everybody else claims the item’s dropping or how damn easy it supposedly is to farm. That is, if I’m going to get it at all: I have been known to return in the next expansion (yes I am looking at you, Staff of Immaculate Recovery!). I might have loot luck from hell but I got a persistence to match it.

I don’t know what it is with me and Lady RNG (to whom, by the by, I’m referring to in broad generalization for all that is random in WoW, for the nitpickers out there); somehow we’ve never been close friends. As far as I remember I’ve never stepped on her toes, but I’m starting to wonder if we’ve worn the same dress to the same party or something.
I probably should admit here, that I’m an excessive ‘google-scientist’: Yes I do google….everything! That starts with checking on why that headache I got since last Monday has a slight sting on the left part of my skull, just so I can properly freak myself out (OH NO, I HAVE CANCER!) and get scared shitless reading all the posts which the other self-diagnosing and totally not paranoid strangers out there have left on the subject, in some dodgy webforum (with animated gifs).

And really, it’s the same with wowhead comments and similar sites too: if you wanna get real miserable real fast, go and read just how lucky some people are with loot drops and how “easy peasy this dropped for me after 5 minutes”. Take courage from their words and dispair later. In his novel Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, the brilliant Jonathan Safran Foer writes “…I’ve thought myself out of happiness one million times, but never once into it”. My personal equivalent to this goes: “I’ve googled myself out of happiness one million times, but never once into it!”

The immediate reason for my current discontent are the new Cataclysm minipets acquired through Archeology and also the Tol Barad fox pet that can be obtained by killing foxes on the northern half of Tol Barad Island. I don’t know how many damn holes I have dug all over Azeroth by now, but it’s not just that I haven’t gotten any pets yet when everyone else around me, including the crazy cat lady from Elwynn Forest probably, seem to have them by now – it’s that I’m getting NOTHING! As in nada, niente, rien, nichts.
Not a single rare so far, just common fragments enough to fill a museum of lousy fossils nobody would pay to see. And I hate archeology! It’s fucking boring!!! The pets are the only reason I’m putting up with this stupid shovel monotony, just like they’re the only reason for me to touch a fishing pole sometimes or a PuG (eeew..!). I don’t know how people could call this profession addictive. Oh look, the telescope is blinking faster now!…Oh, just get a real hobby already!

Also, I must have killed a thousand foxes or more and they’re not exactly swarming the area. Of course there are plenty of those lovely people on sharing their success with the other readers, letting them know just how quickly this dropped after only 30 minutes and how it’s really “not a hard pet to farm at all”. Oh really?! How about a nice cup of STFU with that fox kit?

Yeah, I’m talking myself into a bit of a rage here, bear with me. This is typically my stage three, which means I am somewhere between utter loathing and denial, but I definitely haven’t given up yet. That makes me wonder whether I’m the only WoW player out there with a psychological pattern for loot farming….it’s always the same emotional roller coaster for me – well, maybe you know it too.
Typically, when I start farming a so-called “rare drop” in WoW, I do some research first. Then, once I am properly convinced I know exactly where to go and how to best farm my object of desire, that little voice in my head will start to speak.

For the first 200 mobs or so, the voice goes something like this:

“It’s gonna be fiiiiine! People keep writing how easy this is to get, so I really shouldn’t take me too long. Doesn’t seem to be the rarest drop after all, yeah, an hour max I’d say. I can do that. It will drop tonight, I know it. Yay, go me! Lalalalaaa.”

Then at some point, between 250 and 300 kills, the voice starts taking a slightly edgier tone: 

“Easy drop, my ass. I can’t believe I’m still here! Hmmm…it should really drop any moment now, I can feel I’m getting closer! Must not miss a single mob now, every kill is crucial – I’m almost there, YESYES! Come on, my preciousss!”

Past the 500th kill, things start going downhill fast:

“WTF is this shit?! God damn those silly comments on wowhead, oh how I hate them all! I can’t believe they call this an easy drop..hahahaha…riiight! SRSLY? Same shit for me everytime, oh I hate this, I HATE Blizzard!! Is that orc mage just killing my fox over there?!”

Stage 4 is typically the denial stage.
It’s also where utter loathing meets humiliation and where I start bargaining with Lady RNG, as silly as that sounds (it sounds a little bit like Calvin’s letters to Santa). And just like Calvin, I’m also giving reverse psychology a shot, because y’know, you can totally coerce and trick randomness: 

“Ahh, I don’t even care anymore! That’s right, just dont drop you piece of shit, I couldn’t care less! Am just killing a few more before going to bed now, and I know it won’t drop – so, watch me prove my point! My loot luck sucks, just like I always say!! &!*(&ç”*)%* /doom !!!

That’s right, I’m actually challenging the arbitrary as if it was some sort of fate. Doesn’t make any sense at all? Won’t stop me. I detest luck in WoW just like in real life: I’m a maker. I don’t know how to lose even though I’m good at saving grace (losing is one thing, being a bad loser is utter fail). The truth is, I absolutely hate failing and I’ll do anything to avoid it. Fortuna however, is laughing in my face; I am utterly helpless there (and frustrated….and spiteful….and sulky).
So usually, after stage 4 or approximately 4 hours of focus-farming, I throw in my towel – for the day. I will return of course, to repeat the silliness from stage one just like Sisyphus and his rock (I bet he hated archeology too). God, I hope I’m not the only WoW player with a little voice up there…surely you got your own weirdo mechanisms to deal with shitty loot luck in MMOs? Anybody??

A prayer to Her Fickleness

This time around, I’ve  also resorted to some more extreme measures (no, not the special rain dance, I’m way past that). I figured if Lady RNG hates me so, a little extra effort can’t hurt, heck nothing hurts at this point! So I remembered that Tam and Chas over at Righteous Orbs have this shrine where Lady RNG is basically y’know living, and where common folk can go and offer their prayers and donations to appease the will of the fickle deity. How handy! It appears the shrine has been somewhat deserted of late, in fact Rhii was the last person to pay Lady RNG a visit back in October 2010. Maybe that’s why she’s in such a foul mood (Lady RNG, not Rhii)?

Anyway, I paid my respects there and gave her a little heads up on my situation. And since it can never hurt to say the same prayer twice, here it goes:

Dear Lady of the R-N-Gee
(I’m not sure you’re still listening to these, but here’s my plea:)
I’ve been trying to get these pets for a while,
Y’know to get my collection in style.
I’m really not much of a collector in WoW,
But them minipets, I just need them, NAO!
I’ve killed foxes in Tol Barad, a thousand or two,
Yet the fox pet wont drop – what have I done to you??
I’ve dug holes across Azeroth, enough for Swiss cheese,
And yet nothing I found there, you’re so hard to please!
Oh, and that ooze in Felwood, you never dropped it for me,
Nor the phoenix in pink elf land, how cruel can you be?
It’s Cataclysm now, that means change, amiright?
So, how about being a little less tight?
All I’m asking for is a pet or three,
So how about you stop hating me??
I’m not a bad person, I’m not greedy, not rich,
/gently place poppy flower on the altar

Wish me luck folks, I’ll need it.


  1. OK, Syl…. *backs slowly away from the frothing*

    Do you keep a rabbit’s foot in your bags? I know it’s a pain, since they’re grey and all, but some people swear by it.

  2. I just happen to have a 4 leaf clover in stock, guaranteed to make loot drop, and it can be yours for the mere price of 50000g..

  3. ROFL! Don’t worry, you’re not crazy – well, only a little bit maybe… I hope that “complaining on the internet” works as well for you as it did for me and all the drops you ever wanted will suddenly start to appear!

  4. “surely you got your own weirdo mechanisms to deal with shitty loot luck in MMOs? Anybody??”

    Yepp yepp, it’s easy, just don’t start looking for it. I don’t think I’ve ever farmed for anything… wait let me think…. Nope, not anything. And that’s not because I don’t want anything, but because I know I’ll go crazy after a while. Glad I am not alone. I’m just thinking that if it was meant to be, it’ll drop into my lap soooner or later. If I start looking for it and it never drops I’ll nerdrage.

  5. you call archaeology boring yet sit there farming mobs hour after hour after hour …. hmmmmmm 😛

    And besides – Lady RNG gave you the drake mount on our first Sarth3d kill, that’s as far as her generosity with you went i guess

    My annoyance with Lady RNG is that she’s a fickle bitch that plays favourites. I swear it gets so bad that i’ve even lost an item i’d been after even though I rolled 100! Capricious slut that she is. Yet other people i instance regularly with, she goes out of her way to present the loot to them on a silver fucking platter. Yes Kasier, i’m looking at you!!!

    The search for any useable ilvl346 blue hat continues.

  6. I have my own beef with lady RNG, it is not a huge one but a rather strange one because it is just so unlikely.

    Since Cata I have skinned thousands of mobs, I must have reached the 540 skining cap on the third day of playing. I leveled my LW to 525 almost without buying any leather in the AH. I have spent hours just farming leather. In all this time and skinning I have I have yet to skin a single Pristine Hide. What are the odds on that? When I saw the previous patch notes that the drop rate was being nerfed I was like WTF! I even opened a GM ticket about it only to get the response “sorry, working as intended”.

    As I said it is not a big deal because I can buy the hides with 10 heavy leather, it is just that I find it so weird. I remember for WOTLK by the time I was lvl 80 I had about 16 Arctic Furs in the bank. This can’t be RNG there has to be a bug somewhere.

  7. @Shattered Newb

    A rabbit foot…ahahahaha…riiiiight! I tell you what, why not make it feet, lots of FEET – won’t change a thing! she hates me! =((


    LOL you’re just trying to get together that insanely expensive membership fee for that raidguild of the future, right? =P
    Then again, 50k is a small price to pay for my sanity.


    yeah I do hope public moaning is gonna help – I have my sincere doubts tho! ;(


    “sooner or later” tends to become “even later than that” for me. and reverse psychology is sweet but doesn’t interest lady doom one bit, I fear…need to find more convincing techniques!

  8. @ Grumpy

    erm yes, it is BORING! why do you think I keep at it, because it’s so much fun? 😀
    and you have a point there, that twilight drake drop was so insane, cosmical luck for me that I’ve probably used it all up for the next 200 years or something! Bleh!

    @ Wolf

    Hehe, well…at least you can buy those, indeed. I go straight to the AH if anything isn’t BoP (it’s not like I’ll get it faster by trying to farm..), but in these cases it’s a solid dead end. /sigh
    oddly enough, when something finally drops for me it usually happens in a row…after a long, looong time!

  9. Lady RNG have an understanding. See.. we don’t talk to each other, and we’re both good.

    Okay okay, that doesn’t actually work. She gives me nothing. Nada. Most of the time. And if something I want/need drops.. There’s always this shadow priest in my guild who ALWAYS win it! (She obviously loves him more than me grrr)

    Archeology.. I want the pet and mounts, but knowing my own luck I haven’t really gotten into it. It’s such a time sink, and I just can’t quite bring myself to spend the time on it.

    I rarely grind for any pets/mounts because of the sheer fact that Lady RNG and I aren’t on speaking terms (or loot-dropping terms if you will).

    I always wanted the Baron’s mount from Strat. Kept trying and trying.. and some guildie goes in and gets it on the third kill.

    I was grinding the daily quest for the polar bear mount for MONTHS, and a guildie went in and got it on the first quest.

    For the fox kit (believe it or not I DID get that one!) – I decided not to actually grind for it.. but.. casually kill every fox I saw.. you know.. totally obviously not grinding for it. I’d just do my Tol Barad dailies and, well, kill every fox in sight.

    (As a side note I was laughing at a guildie who told me he was grinding for the fox kit. I asked how many he’d killed “Oh I killed 7 today”… “7.. that’s… grinding?” “Oh yeah, yesterday I killed 2.”)

  10. “Oh I killed 7 today”… “7.. that’s… grinding?” “Oh yeah, yesterday I killed 2.”)



    Oh, and the baron horse never dropped for me either, but then I only cleared the place 50 times or so…and another 200 in vanilla (not even seen it drop).

  11. Best of luck with whatever your project is today 😉

    I hate farming mobs for anything, so I don’t do it for very long at a time if I have to. My main bad luck with RNG seems to be on drops in instances – if perchance the item I’m chasing does drop, I’ll lose it to a mage or someone will ninja it >.<

  12. @Angelya

    Thanks! ^^
    And I don’t know what’s worse – items never dropping or being outrolled by mages when they do drop!

  13. Stratholme mount – 305 runs (post wotlk)
    Sethekk Halls – Lost count, got it on the 3rd drop
    MgT – Saw countless times, but only got it in wotlk quite a while after i started trying (the pet also only dropped AFTER the mount too)

    You aren’t alone in the sucky RNG =)

    For the voice in my head, for arch (265 nelf items before i got the trinket, yeah another that took many hours of /played), it sorta went like this

    Pre-200: “Well, I’m guessing its a 1% chance, so atleast 195 items to go still”
    200-300: “Yeah, will drop any time now…just gotta wait for it”
    Post-300: “…ok now it’s just getting stupid, I WILL GET YOU DAMN IT!”

    …and yeah, reverse psychology doesn’t work, tried that too =)

  14. I guess I’ll join the club. I never got either of the ZG mounts, not even seen them drop, despite farming the place for months straight. I have yet to see a brewfest kodo drop, despite having done the boss daily every year since the kodo was available and I’m just happy I got my ram from tokens or I’d still be looking for it. Neither Anzu nor the Karazhan mount are mine and while I’ve seen both drop once before (but only once), I lost the roll by a hair both times (I tied with another person on Anzu and they got it on the reroll). I also don’t own a scorchling (and now never will) or a frostling. What is it with holiday bosses hating me? 🙁 Nothing from Utgare Heroic, despite going daily for three months prior to Cata (and countless times before) and no drake from the Oculus.

    I did get the fox kit, but it took me three days of farming. Three full days, mind, morning to evening. Not the best way to spend my time over the holidays.

    This sulking on the internet is actually quite nice, I feel rather relieved now. Anyway, you’re certainly not alone when it comes to being hated by Lady RNG. Don’t even get me started on Mr. Pinchy!

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